Like most, the roots of Willie’s problems with alcohol and drugs began early in life, in a family awash in addiction, violence and trauma. His alcoholic father abused his mother, nearly killing her twice, and perpetuated his own traumas on Willie by passing down the unfinished business of the previous generation. But even amidst the hell of family life, Willie told me, I personally had a spiritual connection that I cannot explain. At ten years old, he would lay on the top bunk of his bed and talk to God. His mother thought something was wrong with him, and would often ask, who are you talking to?
But the connection did not insulate him from experiencing an early life of pain, misery and self-destruction. By 18, his world was spiraling out of control. The inability to appropriately process emotions, including rage, hurt and fear, set the stage for the perfect storm. Drinking, drugs and partying eventually landed him on the streets, where the brutal reality of his life eventually became the source of his awakening.
Although treatment played a role in turning Willie’s life around, it was the 12-step program that allowed him to take an honesty inventory of his life and begin to take responsibility for the role he played in his own undoing. The program also helped him understand the answer to the question – why do I do these things to myself? He had a mental obsession with substances that was different than other people. He said, it overrides normal thinking. Once he understood he could not put substances into his body without serious repercussions, the path out of hell became much clearer.
He credits the 4th step of AA – Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves – as being a significant turning point in his life. By looking at me, I was able to forgive other people. I was able to go back and make amends, and every time I did I got better.
Today, Willie leads a simple, but spiritually grounded life. He is a successful businessman, happily married with two wonderful children, dedicated to his church, and to spreading the word that it is more than possible to overcome addiction. I was most impressed with his motivation and efforts to develop programs for teens, that can be taught in schools, to proactively help challenged kids better process and cope with painful emotions. I could not agree more that it is a tremendous need. It was an honor to speak with Willie and learn more about his story. I very much encourage you to get his book (www.whosewill.com) and be inspired.
Thank you for sharing the story about Will. I grew up with a friend that had similar issues like Will. My friend would have never reached the age of 18 if he would not have joined the Military. I was so surprised how much different he was and how much better of a person he became after joining the Military. It wasn’t the 12 step program but it worked. My friend does not abuse drugs any more and I am so happy and proud for him.
I must say that this story hits close to home. I grew up in an alcoholic family and have the disease of alcoholism. I suffered at the clutches of my disease off and on for 14 years until, through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have been able to get and stay sober for multiple years. Thank you so much for posting a story of success. I especially liked how Mr. Harris says his life is a simple one grounded in spirtuality.
Stories like Mr. Harris are very beneficial to me. I never had any serious addictions and never knew anyone with a substance addiction. So when I read about Mr. Harris story it helps me to understand the situation that a person might find themselves in, if they fall into a substance addiction. I feel it is important to understand this so that I can help someone who is struggling with substance abuse without actually experiencing it myself. From reading Mr. Harris story I concluded that an extremely important step towards healing is when Mr. Harris stated he had to take an honest inventory of his life.
Thank you for sharing this story. Being a person that has suffered with addiction and have taken the 12-steps of recovery I too have gotten to live a life that has taken on new meaning. It truly is a simple life that I get to make amends on a regular basis. I try to fix what I have done wrong talking with loved ones to see if I can make thing so to say right. That personal inventory was a huge learning experience and with the help of my sponsor I now know my character defects. In knowing them I get to try to live a life that amplifies the woman God intended me to be. I am so thankful for the 12-steps as they have really helped me grow and understand myself better. Being a sober woman I have got to live up to my dreams and aspirations. What a gift!!! I think I better read Willie’s book.
I recently finished the book Tweak by Nic Sheff which about a boy who grows up with an addiction to finding the perfect high. He talks of his experience with the 12 Step Program and he personally has a difficult time with it because of the emphasis on God. I enjoyed reading your post and seeing how the 12 Step Program has been effective in other people’s lives and how specifically, being able to assess their own faults gave him the chance to make amends with others. With Nic, he needed a guided therapy program that helped him find the repressed memories and process the emotions he has been battling that lead to his addiction. It is inspiring that Willie was able to find the motivation to keep himself on track and was able to realize the root of his addiction.
Thank you so much for sharing your book review. I just got done reading the book Tweak for class and fully enjoyed it. I think books like this help me open up my mind to what addiction really is. Also it helps me understand how trauma can play a role in addiction. A member in my family has suffered from addiction and by reading these books I am trying to understand why they did the things they did. In a sense these books maybe me feel some comfort. My family is not the only family going through this. I can relate to these books and It truly helps me a lot.
I enjoy this article particularly because of how bad the situation became, and how well it ended up. I have no personal experience, but I cannot imagine how hard it was for Willie to overcome what he was raised to know – addiction and trauma. Then following that path himself is devastating to hear, but it is inspiring how well he is doing today. I am a little confused about the spiritual connection that he had with God, but I’m sure that after I reading the book Tweak will clear all of that up for me. It is scary going down such a bad path that he was leading. Most people never end up on the good side of that path. I have had friends in high school who were getting caught up in the whole partying and illicit drugs phase, and at this time many of their friends left them. However, I worked as hard as I could to help my best friend from going down that bad path and now she is a successful college student, also balancing a job. Hopefully, Willie will be able to help many other addicts that want to find their way back to a good, stable lifestyle. Thank you a lot for this warming post.
Thank you so much for sharing this lovely heartfelt story about Will. Although I have never gone through addiction myself, it still hit close to home. In church tonight, we were learning about how many people think that their parents sins will one day become their own. Since Will’s father was such an angry alcoholic, it was probably hard for Will to see any light at the end of his tunnel because he assumed he would turn out just like his father did. Thankful to say, we all have two fathers, and I am so glad Will found his other father, who was able to make him feel new and restored. God can make light out of darkness, and I think its truly beautiful that Will found him at such a young age, and even though Will strayed away at times, he is now back in the arms of a loving Father who will lead him along the right path. I cannot wait to read this story and see what made Will want to be sober again!!!
Yes, the power of God, the All That Is, Atman, whatever one chooses to call that which is beyond ourselves, can be transformative. Indeed, it is awakening to our true nature that can have the most direct and long-lasting impact on addiction. Appreciate your comment!
J
I think it is extraordinary that people can make life changes and become healthy and in control again. It is interesting how close Willie was to God and how well he connected with him but got into some bad substances and ended up on the street. I have learned that people that experiment with drugs do not have to have anything from their past experiences to lead them to it. I learned there is a lot that can contribute to someone using drugs and people who use drugs should not be looked at with shame but with a helping hand to try and help them get out of the situation they are in. It is so inspiring to hear he is doing well, and living healthy and now has programs to help challenged kids with emotions. This inspires me because I know that anything is possible if you put your mind to it and are dedicated to making changes. I am very interested in reading Willie’s book and I think I would learn a lot of life lessons from it!
Stories like these allow addicts to realize there is a path. When trapped within addiction the future and your health do not exist. The only thing that exists is that next ‘high’. You can be told a million times that what you are doing is bad for you and will lead you down a path you do not wish to go. But sometimes that path to the bottom is the only way you can find the path back out.
I think that willies main question, “Why do I do these things to myself,” is very important in terms of his healing. I have never had problems with addiction nor have I ever experienced such tremendous horror in my life, and feel an immense sense of compassion for what a child has to go through to reach a point that addiction latches on to you so vigorously. With that said, I think it is wonderful that Willie is working with teens, so that they can learn how to effectively deal with emotions without the use of addictive substances. Reverting back to his main question, though I have no serious substance abuse problems… I have problems related to over eating, not exercising enough, drinking too much soda etc, in which though they are not even comparable to a story like Willies, they are still things I do to my body that have the potential to harm me in the long run, and I wonder, why do I do this to myself? I think that question is so important in relation to most everything in life, in that we forget to take care of ourselves, and to be able to reflect on why that is, and what led to our destructive behavior is a skill that is necessary if we want to meet our goals and satisfactory state of living. I truly appreciate this story and only hope that my loved ones who struggle with similar backgrounds can someday ask themselves why their past has to determine their futures, and change what they are doing.
Thanks for the feedback!
The story of Mr. Harris is a great story and resonates with what I have gone through. I struggled with an abusive alcoholic father who physically abused me. This lead to me later in life turning to alcohol to help with the PTSD. In the last couple years I too have gone through the 12 step program and that in turn changed my life and allowed me to take accountability for the mistakes I had made. I look forward to reading his book and I know it will be a good one.
Thanks for sharing! Yes, you will enjoy the read.
J
Stories like Mr. Harris’ are stories that truly inspire people to heal themselves. This hits very close to home because although my immediate family didn’t have problems with substance abuse, many of my uncles and cousins grew up and had addiction problems. Both of my brothers followed their footsteps and struggled to stay clean. Not until they entered into a rehabilitation clinic that they were able to help themselves. Through this process with my brothers, I realized that the process doesn’t really begin until you truly understand what addiction is and how it works. That is why I really appreciate Mr. Harris’ journey because, he realized that he had to stop because of the negative consequences and stuck through with it.
I also really appreciate the fact that he participates in education for teens and I am in a drug education class with Kaufmann, and we have learned how crucial it is to teach the truth and prevention with individuals are a younger age.